Updates on Children

Xiao Gou

2009-04-05T16:24:00.000-07:00

No Words Needed....

Remembering Xin Xin

2008-10-02T18:51:00.000-07:00

If you've read Silent Tears, you will remember Xin Xin. She fought hard to live. We also fought hard to help her live. But this is one battle we lost. I can't look at her beautiful little face without again feeling frustration at the ridiculous system that allows chidren to decline to the extent of death. Maybe she has been erased from the book of records, but I know she was here. And I won't forget her.

You Jun and Candee

2008-09-25T16:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Kay and other readers,

Hi! I am happy to share an update on our son, Braden You Jun. I have included a few recent pictures to show you what a handsome little man he is! I have included a special picture of Braden with Candee, one of the SWI volunteers. Other adoptive families might appreciate the "red thread" story that connects her and Braden.

When we were adopting our first daughter from China, one of my husband's co-workers told him that her sister-in-law was a volunteer at an orphanage in China and gave me her e-mail address. Of course, I contacted her and while she was not anywhere near our daughter's SWI, it was a nice connection. Fast forward about 1 1/2 years and we found our son on a waiting child list. I read through Candee's e-mails sent during our first adoption and was surprised to find that she was at the same SWI as our soon-to-be son! I contacted her again and found out that she was no longer in China but had moved back to the U.S. The amazing thing was that she had moved back to the same town that we live in and was working in the same building as I do.

After we returned from China, Candee no longer worked in the same building, but had moved on to be a school nurse . . . at my oldest daughter's school. And that is where we met last week to have this special photo taken!

Now, about You Jun . . . Braden You Jun has been home for one year and enjoying life with his family, including an older sister and a "virtual twin," also adopted from China. He is such a sweetheart with a terrific stubborn streak! Braden is, and has been since we met him, "all boy." When we were in China he was fascinated with trucks and has grown in his love of all types of transportation vehicles and is especially impressed with motorcycles and the medical helicopter that sits on the roof of the hospital where I work. He is always on the move and loves to play for hours on end. He and his sister (also three years old) make up lots of adventures and, for the most part, play well together. He attends a Montessori school, where he is showing an amazing aptitude for numbers and anything to do with them. His teacher said she has never seen a child with such focus when it comes to numbers.

All of this is especially exciting when you remember that he has only been home for one year. Braden had his cleft lip repaired in China and had his palate repaired last December at Shriner's Hospital, where they referred to him as "Mr. Personality."

After reading in the book about all the hurdles that must be overcome just to get a child surgery, I am especially grateful that he had his lip repaired and then more able to "hold on" to the food that he was given. I would like to say thanks for telling your story and for telling the stories of the children. These stories help us remember and understand.

Blessings to you and all the volunteers and children,

Jodi--Mama to You Jun

Dai An

2008-09-24T15:25:00.001-07:00

Dai An was adopted by Mary, a volunteer at the orphanage that fell head over heels when she started working with Dai An. Her adoption story was one of perseverance by her and her mother. If we had folded when they said no-- Dai An wouldn't be the happy, adjusted, loved child she is now.

Update from her mom:

Dai An (An An - 11 years old) is doing very well. She is getting stronger everyday since her hip surgery in April. She gets physical therapy two times a week and swims almost everyday during the summer. Living in the States for just a year and a half Dai An has learned to speak English, how to read and is starting mulitiplication. When she first came to the States she refused to speak Chinese. Now she doesn't remember much of it, but she is more willing to practice Manderin with me. She is a happy and an amazing well adjusted little girl. I am truly blessed to be Dai An's mama.

Meet Kacee

2008-09-09T16:37:00.000-07:00

Kacee writes about someone near and dear to her heart...

We first met among the thirty-some other cribs, each holding a baby. Most faces held a look of longing, the exceptions being those who had given up. These were the older ones, the toddlers. She was about five months old then, and prepared to voice her anger with the world with loud cries and many tears.

She was always a bit more sensitive than the other orphans were. Sheng-Yan didn’t pass her initial health exam, which I blame on her sensitivity. The ayis, Mandarin for “aunties”, the orphanage staff, were often brusque, something Sheng-Yan was susceptible to. She was equally receptive to the loving attention of the expatriate volunteers. She quickly became a favorite, in part due to her unusual rotundity. Whereas most of the orphans were thin, oftentimes bordering on unhealthy, she was plump like a Buddha.

We aptly nicknamed her Buddha-baby, still referring to her as such in our emails to one another. I am careful, though, to call her by her new name when I email her mother. She was adopted just over a year after I left. Shortly before returning home to the States, I met with the orphanage directors and our translator, expressing my concern for Buddha-baby, urging them to re-test her and complete her paperwork for adoption. I couldn’t bear to leave her in the orphanage.

When I flew back and visited the orphanage a year later, I arranged for Buddha-baby, now in foster care, to come with her foster mother so I could see her. I brought with me a photo album from Buddha-baby’s future American mom. With three brothers, and an adopted Chinese sister on the way, she now knows the stability and support of a family. She lives almost a world away in Alabama, but remains forever in my heart.

Xiao Gou

2008-09-04T18:13:00.001-07:00

I have had several requests for updates on Xiao Gou, so I want to take this opportunity to clarify a few things about her story. I can understand the concern of the adoption community in regards to her status, so I hope writing this will help to clear up some confusion. In addition, I welcome any suggestions on how to proceed with her case.

Xiao Gou (said like "Shall Go") was indeed a victim of an accident that left her in ICU for months, recovering from the amputation of her leg. In the beginning, her parents stuck around, even going on local television to appeal to the public for donations to pay the hospital bill. They were unsuccessful in raising the needed funds, so ultimately made the decision to abandon their daughter, probably in the hopes that the orphanage could provide her with better future care than they could.

Once she was placed in the orphanage, the directors have stated many times they have never again heard from the parents and do not know their location. One of the nannies secretly told me that the father had come to the gates one day appealing to see his daughter, but was turned away. This was never verified.

My team and I used every avenue we could to try to reunite Xiao Gou with her parents. We offered to pay all of her medical expenses, but we were told not to do this. My driver, a well-connected man in the city, tried to get information but was also unsuccessful. I tried to draw on my friendships with several nannies to send a message to the parents, but the nannies clammed up and claimed to have lost contact. When I asked about hospital records, I was told that she was admitted to the hospital under a false name, leaving no way to trace her history. At that point, with our precarious position of being guests (volunteers) in the orphanage, if we had stepped over the line and pursued any more investigation, it could have cost us our presence in the institute. For the sake of all the children, we had to proceed cautiously.

Reuniting Xiao Gou with her parents was our first hope for her. Three full years after the administration placed her finding ad, no one had come forward and no one claimed to have heard from her parents. During this time, we continually pleaded with the director to place Xiao Gou in foster care—which was promised many times over but never happened. After a time, her story was becoming known and a family from the states wanted to adopt her. Because of her treatment at the orphanage, we felt this was the next best thing if we could not get her back to her parents. At first, we were told that this was possible, and then the answers began changing repeatedly. While all of this was going on, we were also fighting to get Xiao Gou the medical attention she needed. Every little hurdle took a lot of meetings, phone calls and negotiations. The adoption fell through—because of constraints on both sides. However, we continued to try to help her through her medical issues. In China, the doctors all said that Xiao Gou would never be able to have a prosthetic leg, but we didn’t want to take no for an answer.

After my return to the states, a Swiss doctor came to China and examined Xiao Gou. He indicated that she was a candidate for a prosthetic leg. Many more emails, phone calls, attorney visits, etc. later, (by the lady that took my place), Xiao Gou was finally approved to go to the states and be fitted for her prosthesis—all of this covered by a non-profit organization. After an exhausting few months for the leader of my group to get the Visa’s processed, Xiao Gou and one of the nannies went to New York, and spent six months there.

While there, the man that fitted Xiao Gou and designed her prosthesis, became very enamored with her. She spent a lot of time with him and his huge family—and they have expressed a desire to be her forever family. This just proves that she captures the heart of all that meet her!

Though we have been met with opposition from every angle, we are not giving up on finding Xiao Gou’s family. Brian has graciously given me some helpful tips on the next direction to take, and with the assistance of a contact in China, we are going to do more investigation of Xiao Gou’s case and where it stands legally. For some reason, this child is caught up in a tangled mess of bureaucracy with many unanswered questions. Finding her parents and helping them sort out this awful tragedy would be a dream come true.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Update:

We have began the process of trying to find Xiao Gou's parents. I will continue to post an update when appropriate.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From Mary's Mommy

2008-09-04T17:51:00.001-07:00

Dear Kay,

I read your book & want to THANK YOU SO MUCH for all that you did to make the welfare institute a better place for our little girl & also for all of the other children!!! You definitely do God's work on earth!!! Our little Mary & her best buddy, Shen Wei (Wei Wei) are pictured on your blog, with the little hats on & big grins on their faces. He has his arm around our little one. The two of them still remain best buddies & have gotten together several times since they both came to live in the U.S. He & his mother have even spent the weekend in our home. It's so rewarding to see that close bond continue. AGAIN, thank you so much & God Bless you!!!

Signed,
Mary's Mom

Le Bai

2008-09-04T15:22:00.000-07:00

Le Bai will be turning eight soon and is growing into a wonderful young man. It's been an interesting couple of years since he's been home. He loves school and has made lots of friends. Everywhere we go we seem to run into someone that knows him. He's got a personality that's a mile wide.

He learned English very quickly and has a huge vocabulary. Sometimes a little *too* huge for mom's own good! We joke that he's going to grow up to be either a politician or a car salesman. We have a house full of pets which took him a while to warm up to, but now he loves all his furry (and scaley!) friends.

The vision issues that come with Albinism have been a little challenging but he's learning to make good use of the various visual aids provided for him. He had eye surgery last year that has helped him use the vision he has better. On the emotional front, as an older child adoption, there are some demons that are always fighting their way to the surface.

With a lot of love & work, we are making good progress towards vanquishing them. He's got a heavy load to carry. I hope for the day when he's able to put it down for good. We feel blessed for every day with this wonderful, funny, loving little boy. We are so thankful for the work you & the other volunteers did that made his time in China a little easier.

Jia Jia

2008-09-04T15:15:00.000-07:00

The following is an update on Jia Jia--what a different world she lives in now. In the orphanage she was confined to her bed most of the time, with a huge lump of membranes on her spine causing her intense pain--as well as being paralyzed from the knees down.

Our group pushed the administration to allow her surgery to remove the lump to ease her everyday quality of life-and then one of our devoted volunteers realized that Jia Jia was meant to be her daughter. It wasn't an easy task but it finally happened; Jia Jia became a part of her forever family. Immediately after the adoption, they all moved back to the states and Jia Jia is living life to the fullest in a family that is over-flowing with sisters, brothers and lots of love!

Here is a few words from her mom:

Jia Jia started kindergarten last Thursday and loves it! She asks everyday after I pick her up from school if she gets to wake up and go to school again. One is of her wheeling down the hall on her way to her class, she was so excited. Also, they finally finished making her braces that will help her to be able to stand and walk. We had to send them back because they had a few technical problems but when we get them back again (which is supposed to be this week) then they will start physical therapy with her to teach her how to walk with them. The week we did have them she would go around the whole house with her walker, then after about 30 minutes she would be tired and I would take them off.

When we first brought Jia Jia back to the U.S., we would go into a pet store and look at the animals. Well, whenever we would look at lizards or turtles she would scream at the top of her lungs and we would have to leave the store immediately to avoid her having a nervous breakdown. Soon after, we bought her brother a lizard called a bearded dragon for his birthday. When we brought it out to him at his party Jia Jia screamed and was terrified. However, these days she wants to hold the lizard and says she wants one for her own birthday. I am happy to say that she overcame her fear.

Yue Hua

2008-08-15T18:28:00.001-07:00

Ruthie (Yue Hua) came home four years ago and is one remarkable little girl. Born with spina bifida, she was not surgically corrected until after her adoption at almost three years of age. Considering the delay, she definitely has nerve damage and will always suffer from bowel and bladder issues. In addition, she recently underwent a left nephrectomy. Regardless, she is a survivor and is determined to not let physical issues slow her down.

We have had many people comment that she has “an odd gait,” which is a polite way of saying she walks funny – but they are amazed to learn that she has spina bifida and are truly in awe of her abilities.When Ruthie came to us at 2 years, 9 months, she was angry and resentful of everyone.

Little by little, she has softened, and at this point, you would be hard-pressed to find a more caring little girl. She loves packing shoeboxes for Samaritan’s Purse, and she has been involved with ministering to seniors at the nursing home. We rotate praying at dinnertime, and I am constantly amazed at the subjects she chooses to pray about. She truly has a heart for those who are hurting, and I love this about her. She also loves her family and will tell you in great detail more than you ever wanted to know about each family member. On the other hand, she is one spunky little gal and at times I think she enjoys a good fight with one of her siblings!

Ruthie’s favorite things are Sunday School & Children’s Church, school, babydolls & Barbies, Hannah Montana, stickers, and anything that glitters. She is a girly girl, and she is very much my hero. When I think of all that she has endured in her short life, I hope that I can grow up to be the type of person she is becoming.

[Note from Kay: Yue Hua was the little girl I was very attached to that was suddenly gone one day; only to find out some time later that she was adopted. Ironically, her little sister was another child we advocated for to have spinal surgery, and was the reason Yue Hua's mom contacted me. I was caring for Yue Hua's soon-to-be sis, Le Ci without even knowing it! God is so funny...]

Le Ci

2008-08-14T18:36:00.000-07:00

Ruthie & Abby together!

Abby after her surgery in China.

Abby (Le Ci), who is 4-1/2, has been part of our family for just over two years. She will tell you, “When I in China, I no have a mom and dad, but Jesus want me to have a mom and dad. Daddy and Nathan (brother) come get me and bring me home.” She is a simple and sweet little girl who loves her large family and her two dogs beyond measure.

Like her older sister, Ruthie, Abby was born with spina bifida or possibly a spinal tumor. She was abandoned at birth and brought to the SWI where the volunteers provided the necessary funds to allow her spinal surgery to be performed at the age of 9 months. We will always be grateful for their intervention, as her nerve damage is so much less than it could have been. After the surgery, Abby was placed in foster care, and it was very apparent that her foster family treated her kindly. She grieved that loss for the first 3-4 months, but once past that difficult time, she wholeheartedly transferred her love to us.

Kay has told me several times that Le Ci was so very sad and serious before her surgery, and she had wondered as to the nature of her true personality. My answer would be sunshine! She is full of laughter, loudness, and love. This child exudes happiness. She sings and dances all the time and brings joy (and a little wildness!) to everyone she connects with. When I think how sad and painful her life could have been, I am thankful to a merciful God who loves little children like Le Ci and uses the hands of good people such as the SWI volunteers.

Le Men

2008-07-18T18:04:00.000-07:00

Le Men has been our son for over 2 years now. We have 4 children from China, 2 girls and 2 boys, Le Men is the baby of our family. When we received Le Men we had no idea what to expect, having never had a child who had been in foster care. What a delightful surprise we had in store for us. Though cautious of us, he readily accepted us and we knew his foster mother had done a beautiful job with him.

We assumed that he was in some way prepared for our coming, but were not absolutely sure of this. It was obvious to us the Le Men was loved by his foster family and would be missed. As the book states, Le Men had his open heart surgery in China. Our cardiologist said that his repair was wonderfully done and he is in excellent health. We expect no further medical interventions where his heart is concerned.

Once we got him home though, we discovered that the majority of his teeth were decayed or in dire need of help. He has required extensive dental work to bring the situation under control.Le Men is inquisitive, smart, funny and an absolute love. He relishes hugs, kisses, lots of cuddling and is an attention getter.

This year Le Men will be starting kindergarten and he is so excited. Having his 3 older siblings already attending the elementary school the rest of the school, quite literally, is ready and anxious for the last of our group to join the population there. What a fun year this is going to be for him!

Signed,
Le Men's Mommy